Memory and Trauma

According to Donald Olding Hebb (1904-1985; Canadian psychologist and pioneer in neuropsychology), most of who we have become at age 35 is made up of a collection of unconscious remembered behaviors, emotional responses, unconscious habits, hard-wired attitudes (by habitually established neural connections in the brain), beliefs and perceptions, which function like a computer program and literally, like the mainframe chip of a computer, control us for 95% daily (unconsciously).

A person may then be able to say with that other 5% of their conscious mind, “I want to be healthy, I want to be happy, I want to be free of my trauma”. In most cases, the body is connected to an entirely different control program.

So to make changes you will have to go beyond the analytical mind – because the conscious and the unconscious mind are separated by the analytical mind. Free will and free choice, we have therefore lost to a certain control program. Therefore, we will also see later that in order to achieve sustainable transformation, we also have to work at this control program level, and not through the analytical (intellectual) mind.

The memory resembles a large well-organized audio-visual library filled with photos, audio tapes, videos

and other representations of ourselves and our world.

Everything stored has a representation, but like

we will see later, not everything always has a classification and an identifier, so there is not always a neatly stored

and a useful “memory cluster” is created.

The memory thus resembles a large audiovisual library, which you can perhaps imagine as one large card catalog, with emotional charge linked to pictures/images/representations. This also means that it is not possible, as is often said, to give things a place, or to learn to deal with a certain situation, however much one would like to do so analytically and intellectually (cognitively). All cards from the card catalog always participate in the mood of the singular image of what one eventually (often unintentionally) becomes aware of.

When one tries to work in this way with people with PTSD, it also doesn't work because the pictures/images/representations that one wants to learn to deal with in a certain way are associated/connected with countless other images. This association/connection makes a person with PTSD get caught up in his/her whole doings, his/her whole life and not just part of it.

Whether one is awake or asleep and even when one is unconscious - such as when one is injured for example - the neural network is always active and alive. It is constantly scanning the environment and remixing, revising, re-indexing the events and circumstances of life - it tries over and over to re-imagine whatever circumstances one might be in.

This is a crucial part of how the nervous system works. In fact, if we interrupt this process, which we can currently do scientifically through medicine, we can literally erase the memory. The same can also be caused by things that have happened to you.

There is a certain 'drug' (a hormone) that your body produces when your body is under stress - this is called Cortisol. Cortisol has an effect on an area of the brain called the Hippocampus - when Cortisol is in the Hippocampus it prevents the formation of memory - it can even apparently erase memories - make them unavailable immediately consciously - of things that happened recently .

This happens, for example, with people who have an accident, such as after a serious car accident - they sit

on the sidewalk talking about what happened – are then taken to the hospital and have

later no recollection of all this.

What happened and how did this happen?

The chemical Cortisol released during this very stressful event - the accident - has literally erased the memories that existed in the nervous system and for the time being no longer consciously made available.

It is important to understand that you are always letting some of your memory play into you and thereby reconsider and re-imagine - this thought trail is always there. Sometimes, however, it is just playing around uselessly (so-called "grinding"). We've all had this experience - an argument with someone that we can't seem to get over - it just keeps spinning like a carousel in our heads.

The stronger we make these associations, the stronger they arise in our nervous system as neural networks - so it's better not to have any resistance to them. What we resist persists because of the attention we then repeatedly focus on it (“what one resist – persists”). However, this is easier said than done. Again, you can consciously want something, but apparently no effective choice is possible due to consciously uncontrollable processes.

For example, Donald Hebb states in the "Hebb's principle" named after him: “Neurons that fire together – wire together” – i.e. the simultaneous activation of nearby neurons leads to an increase in the strength of the synaptic (bridge) connection between them. It is important to note that the neurons must have been connected before, must be close enough to each other, so that the synapse (bridge) can actually be strengthened.

In other words, always the same emotions or thoughts, reinforcing the neural network that forms, ultimately in comparison, functioning as a very well-maintained and traffic-free A-4 (highway). You could also think of it as the ditch on a hill, which gets deeper and deeper as more water flows through it.

What is a memory cluster?

A memory cluster is a collection of information elements from a sensory experience, which is recorded in our system. Think of all the perceptions of our five (5) senses such as sounds, smells, images, tastes and touches, which together form an experience in its totality.

We distinguish a completely normal memory cluster, an incomplete, also called ghost cluster (*), and finally the physio cluster. The physio cluster occurs in both forms simultaneously with the other. The physio cluster registers the physiological status of us as an 'organism' at that moment, and links this to the sensory perception of the moment. (*) A term first named so by Jacob Kortweg.

Normal memory cluster: In a normal memory cluster, there is a conscious experience in which the incoming sensory information is 'processed'. Meaning is given to the experience, its absolute value (identification), a relative value (classification) is assigned to it and with that countless connections are made between this experience and other (previous) experiences - between this memory cluster and other memory clusters. As a result, such a moment, such a memory cluster/information cluster has its place in a certain time, in a certain place and at the same time in a much larger whole of meaningful information.

Incomplete Memory Cluster: However, incompletely stored memory clusters can also occur. These arise when the organism has to protect itself against an excessive physiological reaction to the incoming information. In practice, this only occurs with “shocking experiences”, which cause a very high degree of anxiety.

The level of fear-inducing ligands (signaling molecules) in the blood can then rise so high that it could harm the person (the organism) itself if this level of ligands were to rise even further. This happens precisely in those circumstances in which the danger is experienced as directly life-threatening and there is no way out for the person.

What is often called a 'black hole in the memory' can indeed be explained and it is not a 'repression' as is sometimes claimed by professionals. Incomplete memory clusters are also called 'ghost clusters' because they actually 'haunt' in our memory without us being aware of it.

Because of this 'haunting', for example, they make us afraid of things we don't need to be afraid of at all. In doing so, we often become reactive, using a great deal of our energy, time, and effort to completely avoid conditions that activate incomplete memory clusters or to compensate for them through our behavior.

Physiocluster: During the conscious processing of the incoming sensory information, a physical (physiological) reaction takes place. At that moment, the organism produces the conscious 'signaling molecules' (ligands) that are appropriate for that specific experience. The unique composition, the 'recipe', as it were, of this specific feeling, is then recorded in the accompanying physio cluster.

Ghost Cluster: In addition to the danger experienced by the person, the organism experiences an acute danger of losing its own bodily (physical) and most fundamental integrity at the cellular level. Physical (physiological) action is taken very directly and efficiently against this. The production of 'anxiety hormones' is immediately stopped. Everything then continues 'normally', except for the conscious processing of the incoming sensory information, so that no further fear substances are produced.

There then follows a moment in which the person is not consciously present and functions completely on autonomous reflexes and self-preservation. The person can remember the time and the experiences

that take place therein by definition do not remember,

they have never penetrated his/her consciousness,

- he or she has therefore not 'experienced' them.

The sensory information continues to come in and is registered and recorded by the body as usual, only a few important things are missing:

• No absolute and relative value is assigned to the parts of the memory cluster.

• No substantive connections are made with comparable experiences.

• After all, both require conscious processing.

The result is a memory cluster full of sensory information and a physical response (physiology) of the utmost fear and panic, which is completely in itself.

state, with no connection to other clusters.

There is, however, the neuro-technical connection between the incomplete memory cluster ('ghost cluster') and all other experiences in our system at the elementary (cell level). For example, the color red in a "ghost cluster" uses the same mechanism as the color red in another memory cluster. Through this elemental connection, ghost clusters can be activated by corresponding sensory perceptions at an elemental level such as color, shape, sound, smell, etc.

To be clear - such a 'ghost cluster' (memory cluster) cannot be perceived by consciousness, because all conscious elements are missing. The memory cluster is in our system independent of place and time and the accompanying circumstances, and it has a strong negative physical influence (physiology).

Our memories are activated clusters

Look at any object, you immediately know what it is (identification), you can have an opinion about it and have a feeling about it (classification). If you focus on it and start musing about it, all kinds of memories and feelings can surface (activation of content and the corresponding physical reaction).

If you look at a glass of water, for example, this image is immediately 'recorded' by the brain cells that correspond to it, cells for shape, for color, for transparency, in short, a complex set of cells is only activated by looking at a glass of water. By means of exactly those same cells, the experiences of previous glasses of water that you have ever seen are also recorded.

It is precisely because of this agreement that you know what it is. This also applies to 'ghost clusters'. Their information is also recorded by means of these same cells, only the part of which we can become aware is missing. Although the physical reaction (physiology) can be activated.

So our senses activate cells in our brains that then give us information, such as 'this is a glass', 'this is a nice glass', 'this is my glass', 'ha, nice water, take a sip'. With all these possibilities we also experience feelings, from very weak to very strong, depending on our sensory stimulus.

Fortunately, when we see a glass of water, we don't spontaneously start to remember all the glasses of water we've ever seen. That would be very busy in our heads. But a highly emotional memory can easily surface, such as 'this is a similar glass to the one my father drank from just before he died.'

So in order for a memory to 'become aware', it must have a high emotional value and be activated

by something we perceive in the here-and-now.

Small similarities that we permanently observe are filtered out in this process, only above a certain 'threshold value' does the memory come through well with all images and feelings that are linked to it. Then, in our minds, we can be completely back to that previous experience.

Our Comparison Material - Remember

A memory cluster consists of sensory perception that we can retrieve as a memory. We have billions of these clusters. If we didn't have them we wouldn't be able to understand or even recognize anything - so we wouldn't be able to live normal lives. We wouldn't be able to get out of bed after waking up and touch the bedroom floor with our feet and get up. After all, we would not understand that the floor is a floor and, for example, is sturdy enough to stand on.

Feeling an emotion is the result of a physical (physiological) process that is set in motion by our comparison material. So a certain feeling does not arise from what happens in itself, but the feeling arises from activating the comparative material to which certain feelings are linked. This determines the "value" it has for you.

If the emotion of an experience is inadvertently linked to a sensory perception it does not belong to, it would turn our whole perception of reality upside down! This can literally happen by activating incompletely stored memory clusters.

This is because the incomplete data is recorded in the same areas where our normal memory clusters are also recorded.

You can compare it to the pixels on your computer screen, pixels that are used over and over to display an endless series of different images. In the constant subconscious process of comparison between sensory perception and recorded data, complete, but also incompletely stored memory clusters are similarly touched and 're-used'.

A cluster becomes active when the relevance is high enough – there is a 'voting process' as it were and the one with the highest number of votes/the highest intensity wins. In a normal memory cluster, the conscious images are then recalled (there is only one image that ultimately 'wins the mood') and the physical reaction (physiology) of the moment is reloaded at the cellular level and stored in the body .

For example, these are the source of beliefs that give us a semblance of free will, which we tend to prefer to real free will. Think how this explains why so many people never seem to succeed at what they actually set out to do. True free will only really comes into being when choices are not hindered by unconscious beliefs, which in turn are automatically controlled by previous stored experiences.

Relive

Stem cell research has shown that every cell is an organism with, among other things, its own metabolism, its own nervous system and, important in the context of re-experience, also its own memory. The fifty (50) to seventy (70) trillion cells of our body therefore connect to form an extensive 'dynamic information network' scattered throughout our body, which our body ultimately is.

Re-experiencing, unlike a memory, is a personal displacement with your consciousness to another

here and now – it provides access to the subconscious

and to the originally stored (memory) information.

Someone is there again as if it were "now", one is there in the present tense, in the age of then, with the clothes of that time, with the smells, sounds, tastes, images and touches of the past. The re-experience begins by consciously remembering a previous experience and then reliving it in the mind in the "now". It is as if one is there again and everything is happening in the “now”. The unconscious where the information is stored directs the re-experience and thus also the eventual transformation.

Just imagining in the mind is enough to start a re-experiencing. After a short time the experience of the body goes along with that experience and one feels the emotions of that moment. Now one is back there and the information that was stored then can be released.

This is information in an unfinished memory cluster that can be completed (completed) through advanced coaching intervention, before it can 'join in as normal' as a normal memory cluster and without emotional load in the memory. So you can say that physical (physiological) unfinished business can still be completed.

In PTSD we see many re-experiences of the trauma - as if it happened in reality and in the "now". The often and constantly recurring memories of the “shocking event”, which are difficult to suppress, start the process of re-experiencing, in the form of the origin of thoughts and associated sensory perceptions.

At night 're-experiences' often 'appear' in the form of flashbacks during bad dreams or nightmares. The re-experiences are realistic because, as described above, they are experiences of the person himself and “in the here and now”. Thus, the re-experiences are often just as threatening as the original “shocking event” from which the original psychological trauma and PTSD originated.

Everything is there, the hand on the body of the man who wouldn't stop and tore those clothes, the screams of the girl who died, the hand grenades that exploded, the cold body parts of the dead colleague running down the face with an indescribable feeling, hearing the last words of the colleague when he died in his arms, the smell of the interior of the van in which the three burnt sisters were sitting, but also the typical taste of Indonesian food which, together with great pleasure that colleague was eaten so often.

Because it doesn't matter to the mind whether something happens, or whether we think something is happening, there is also a lot of re-experiencing by association - elements of the "shocking event" that resemble and lead to certain feelings in the body, based on the physiological response of the illusionary perceived stimuli. Something resembling suddenly forms the basis for a re-experience and a cascade of unwanted and uncontrollable emotions.

Despite this, ongoing trauma from a PTSD Beyond perspective does not actually exist. It concerns the reasons/triggers that can cause a continuous stress reaction in the here-and-now for the person with PTSD - once the overwhelming shocking event (the trauma or multiple traumas) was the reason for this stress reaction.

A clear distinction can therefore be made between a trigger and a stress response. People with PTSD can suffer from both on an ongoing basis. A re-experience (flashback) is therefore a 'frozen reaction' to a previous trigger (trigger) - a stressor that leads to a stored and fixedly repeated psychobiological reaction.

When the trigger of the stress response has been effectively transformed ('dissolved') through advanced PTSD Beyond coaching intervention, a new situation has arisen psychobiologically, in which people have literally gone beyond PTSD. From the here-and-now, really new experiences can now be formed, without automatically (uncontrollable) negative disturbances of the PTSD. One can therefore get past PTSD and continue with life constructively, something that until now seemed impossible due to the determining and often destructive influence of PTSD.